Anything they say now to try and make me feel better is strictly to ease their own conscience. I didn’t trust them to take care of me in a real moment of need when they didn’t take care of me in day to day things.
I know my place, have always known it, and now they are blurring those lines making it hard to keep my distance and keep myself from getting hurt. I can handle the physical pain from my bullies and training, I knowhow to heal from that, but the emotional pain that has been going on my whole life, I don’t know how to deal with that, so I kept my distance. I want to continue to keep my distance, but my wolf is right, we need our pack, or a pack
“Is that why you ran? You run away everytime the focus is on you.” Oliver asks, leaning forward, elbows on his la-lees.
Sam is keeping a running commentary for Sierra. I can tell she is upset that I won’t shift back to talk to them. My wolf is at least intimidating enough to keep them away. I don’t want anyone trying to come close or embrace me.
They don’t get to be sorry for all the things they ignored in the past, because they feel bad now. My friend doesn’t deserve this treatment and I would talk to her directly if I could, but I am holding out. I still have no reason to show them any kind of emotion and I can stay stoic in my wolf’s form. She can choose to forgive me later or just keep the distance and let me go like everyone else.
“Can we jump back really quick to the part where she shifted at thirteen? That’s incredible Skylar! Your wolf must be really special for you to shift so young. I still haven’t shifted yet.”
Sierra looks at me. understand why the guys shifted early and at the same time too. You are all really close and have a tight knit group and to top it off you are all high ranking wolves taking on your positions and training to be the next leaders. It makes sense that your wolves would come out and help you along with that.
But, Skylar wasn’t in line to be the next beta or in a position for her wolf to be needed like that. So why did she come early, why was it necessary, what happened?” She looks back at me, I’m pretty sure she set me up with that question.
This is an answer that I want to give her, but it comes with a nightmare I don’t want the guys to know. Something I have been avoiding telling her since the day we met. She knows it, too
She actually showed up when I received some of the scars on my back. I closed my eyes inside my wolf’s head. I didn’t want to see their expressions through her very clear vision at that revelation. “She showed up because you were being attacked didn’t she?” Cameron whispered, the first to catch on. He’s leaning forward, elbows on his knees. He looks up slowly waiting for my answer.
It’s what I always thought, but my wolf and I never discussed it. She nods her head in agreement. “WHAT?!” My brother jumps up and shouts. “It was so bad your wolf had to show up early?! Damnit Skylar, wily didn’t you say anything to anyone?” He’s shaking so bad and his eyes keep changing from gray to black, showing his wolf is fighting to come out. He’s running his fingers in his hair and pulling at it so hard it’s standing up in certain places.
My wolf lets out a warning growl, nothing offensive, just a warning to his wolf to get him in check Oliver jumps up and places a hand on his shoulder to try and help calm him down. “Dude, she doesn’t need this right now. She’s got her reasons for not going to anyone and you getting all angry and huffy is not going to get you the answers that you want.
Mateo is breathing hard and struggling with his temper. I can feel the anger, worry and torment all rolling off of him in waves.
We need to help or he’s going to rage and tear this place apart and the rest of your friends are going to get hurt trying to stop him. His wolf is having a hard time controlling both of their emotions. My wolf is pleading for me to go to him. His wolf needs her, needs the comfort of his little sister. I’m still angry, but I get what she is saying. His anger is because of my situation and only I can calm him.
