I just blush and look at her, I have nor response to that at all.
Just watching her interact with all of the people we have come into contact with has been educational, but there really isn’t a way to tell people ‘I’ve never even held a boy’s hand before’ that isn’t embarrassing. “Since we’re on the subject, what is your favorite position”
She tilts her head and has this mischievous smile on her face like she was reading my mind and wants me to admit it out loud.
“Umm.” I play with my fingers. I don’t want to lie to her and end up in a position where I would have to prove anything, but I really don’t want to tell her the truth either.
“Come on. You don’t strike me as the sleep around type.
It’s okay if your experience is minimal, there’s nothing wrong with slowly easing into the s*x stuff.” She moves to sit by me on the bed.
“Umm…1 don’t have one.” I look anywhere but at her and hope that she just reads between the lines and drops the topic. I can feel my face heating up. There isn’t a lot that makes me blush, but this is one of those things that does I guess.
“So you’re a virgin, that’s fine. I was until last year, but I decided that I wanted to know a few things before I found
my mate. You know, just in case he’s new at it too, then the s*x won’t be boring.” She shrugs it off and I guess that does make some sense.
Most guys don’t see a problem with ‘practicing. My brother and his friends are well versed in entertaining in the bedroom, if the sounds coming from my brother’s room and the rumors about the others are to be believed.
My brother tried to explain it to me last year that their wolves, especially high ranking wolves, almost require the release and the need to procreate (his words not mine, cause it sounds like a s*x-ed lesson) gets more intense as they get closer to their 18th birthday.
I got a full detailed overview of the fact that even though wolves can’t get or spread STD’s Alpha Lucas drilled into them to wrap it up every time because no one wants to be a parent that young and there are some girls who will try and trap a ranked wolf by getting pregnant. Especially an Alpha and Beta, but all the guys are at risk for gold diggers.
“I’m not just a virgin, I have no experience when it comes to that stuff, like at all. I told you the guys really didn’t pay any attention to me until last year and before that, having even a female friend was not a thing.”
“No way! I’ve seen Xander with you, he kisses you on the head all the time and holds your hand. I figured there was something there before he found Oscar and because you are such an understanding person, you let him be once he found his first mate and is on the lookout for their female.”
“Uh, no. We are just friends and all of that is show for the stupid girls who can’t take a hint that he doesn’t want them throwing themselves at him.” I roll my eyes. “The twins have held my hands and they all kis: me on the head, but I’m like everyone’s little sister, nothing more.” I shrug.
Now that she’s talking about it, I feel like I should be practicing somehow so I’m not a disappointment to my mate when I find him. I don’t want to be rejected because I can’t please him. But I also don’t want to be rejected because I didn’t save myself for him. I drop my head into my hands.
“This is so confusing. What am I supposed to do? The thought of being with anyone that’s not my mate makes me sick to my stomach, but what if he doesn’t want me because I don’t have any idea what I’m doing” I let out a little whiny noise.
“Or what if he doesn’t want me because I have done anything that wasn’t with him? I don’t want to be rejected!” I can feel my panic start to rise, my chest is tightening and my breathing is getting quicker.
