21. A Kiss Deeper than Words or I Am The Luna Chapter 99 By Moonlight Muse
SEBASTIAN.
The sound of the shower running fills the room and I sit on the bed, running my fingers through my hair for the hundredth time.
How do I do this?
There’s no time left…
I have to leave her…
Standing up, I leave the room silently and walk down the hall to the children’s room. The light to Jai’s room is on and I can hear quiet talking.
I hope for what it’s worth that his injury at least helped Valerie forgive him a little. To this day, I don’t think Jai was in his right mind when he ended up sleeping with Cara back then.
He had been so distraught I don’t think he even knew who it was in that bed, simply rambling about how he needed to find Valerie.
I make sure I’m not making any sound as I slip into the children’s room and look at the two little angels in bed. They’re fast asleep and I realise I’m leaving them again.
I’m always leaving them. I sit down on the bed and look down at Zion, running my fingers through his dark hair. Take care of your mom and this pack, son. Be the Alpha I never could be.
Why did she have to love me? Why did she have to be fated to a fool like me? All I do is hurt her even when I don’t want to…
I look over at Sia, her pale cheeks are flushed with a pink hue, and her breathing is shallow. He poisoned her… my little princess…
I brush a few strands of her hair off her face. It’s so similar to Zaia’s… She’s going to grow up and look just like her mother and she will grow up.
She will live a healthy and happy life. I will get that antidote. Even if it’s the last thing I do, she will survive this and she will heal.
My heart clenches, the pain in my chest is almost crippling. Leaning down, I kiss her forehead softly, inhaling her scent.
I’m sorry I won’t get to see you grow. I kiss her hand gently before I kiss Zion, knowing he’ll grow up strong. Take care of your sister for me, son.
I close my eyes, trying to calm the storm that is bubbling inside of me. Casting a final glance at the children, I stand up, not wanting Zaia to realise I’m missing from the bedroom. I get up. turning away and then stop.
Turning back, I look down at them once more, questioning myself.
What kind of father is never there?
One you don’t need.
I gaze at their faces, knowing I’ll never forget this moment. I love you both so fucking much and I don’t deserve you.
My eyes are stinging, but I take a deep breath, turning away for the final time and striding to the door. If I look back, I don’t know if I’ll be able to walk away with the strength I need.
Returning to the bedroom, I can still hear the sound of water. The shower is still running, and I silently lock the door.
Pulling my top off, I get into bed, place my arms behind my head and close my eyes. I hear the shower switch off and after a few moments I hear her enter the bedroom, her scent mixed with the smell of her bath products….
I’m going to miss this…
I keep my breathing steady as I sense her watching me before there’s a rustle as she gets dressed. There are a few moments of silence before I feel the bed dip and she slowly gets in between the sheets, trying not to disturb me.
“Hm,” she murmurs, and I feel her fingers gently comb through my hair. ” Goodnight, handsome.”
My heart clenches as she leans in and gently kisses my forehead. The thudding of her heart already making my resolve break. I can’t do this. Fuck, I can’t leave her. My eyes snap open, and she’s watching me with concern. “Hey, are you okay?”
she asks, caressing my jaw. She must have picked up on the change in my heart rate.
“Yeah,” I say, unable to look directly into those amethyst orbs. Instead, I tug her close, wrapping my arms around her tightly.
Her heart is thudding in rhythm to my own.
“Bastien…” she murmurs, and I pull her head to my chest.
I don’t respond- I can’t.
Not without giving myself away.
‘Bastien… talk to me,’ she pleads through the mind link.
‘It’s been a long day, I’m just glad you are ok.’ I reply quietly. She makes the mistake of looking up at me, concern clear in her eyes.
“Baby, what is it?” she asks softly. “Nothing, relax. Why are you so worried?” I ask, reaching up and brushing the wet locks of her hair back. She’s wearing the shirt I had discarded not long ago.
Her eyes flutter shut as I run my fingers down her neck. Her face is make-up- free, and she looks breathtaking. She’s a beauty…
I caress her cheeks, admiring her dusting of freckles. She opens her eyes, and they are glistening with tears. “I don’t know… I’m scared.” She whispers, her voice shaky. “You’re scaring me.”
She looks into my eyes, and I wonder if deep down she knows…
“I don’t mean to,” I reply quietly, clenching my jaw as I try to push away my emotions that are threatening to drown me.
“We’re going to get through this, all of this. Together. We are going to find Gerard, and we are going to defeat the Sable. Together,” she reassures me, but I wonder if she’s reassuring herself as well.
Together…
“Promise me,” she whispers, an underlying urgency in her tone.
I cup her face, unable to reply to her. How many more lies will I tell her? How many promises will I break? Our hearts are thumping violently before I claim her lips in a deep, passionate kiss, sending rivets of pleasure through us. One fuelled by a thousand emotions that are stronger than the most powerful of storms.
She whimpers softly against my lips, kissing me back with equal intensity as her eyes flutter shut.
I’m sorry.
1 cup the back of her neck as I kiss her harder, never wanting to let her go.
You deserved better.
I nibble on her soft plush lip, cherishing the taste of her lips, the sweetness of her mouth.
I love you and I always will.
My love for you will never change…
I tighten my arms around her, and she grips onto me equally hard. Our bodies are moulded together as if made for one another.
We were… but destiny has its own plans You are the fucking rhythm that my heart beats to…
I caress her back, gripping the back of her neck and hair as I kiss her like it’s for the last time and I know it is…
This is it… our final goodbye….
We break apart when she gasps for air and I’m breathing heavily, too.
“Get some rest… it’s going to be a long day tomorrow.” I say quietly, brushing my thumb over her plump lips. She nods. “I need to go to Dad’s Pack, too.”
I nod, “And I plan to leave extremely early. There are a few things that I want to check with the security around the grounds.”
She smiles slightly, my words somehow comforting her.
“Great, sounds like a plan.”
“Yeah. Make sure you’re careful when you get to your dad’s pack. Trust nothing and no one.”
“Got it… So, are you leaving really early? I’m going to head out early, too.” She asks as we settle down beside one another. I slip my arm under her head, and she snuggles against me.
“Yeah, I’ll cover more ground.”
To put more distance between us…
“Well, it is going to be a manic day, but let’s do something tomorrow night, even if it’s just a barbeque in the garden. The children will enjoy it too.”
“Sounds good.” I wrap my arms around her tightly, burying my head into her neck. Kissing her there tenderly.
I’m fucking sorry…
I wait for her to fall asleep, which doesn’t take her long. She’s exhausted from the long night. I should go… but I can’t bring myself to move as I hold her, watching her sleep.
She’s content… despite the exhaustion. There’s a small, graceful smile on her beautiful face. I simply lay there, gazing at the angel in my arms until I know I can’t afford to take any more time.
Taking a deep breath, I frown as I slowly ease her off my arm. My gaze lingers over the curve of her breasts and her tiny waist.
I run my hand down her waist and hip, caressing her thigh as I plant a soft kiss on her lips before I turn away and get out of bed, pulling the blanket up around her…
Now there is only one thing left to do before I leave…
I glance out of the window up at the full moon, my eyes blazing steely silver before I turn and head to the door, forcing myself not to look back. Because I know if I do… I won’t be able to leave…
I’m sorry.
