20. A Step Towards Healing or I Am The Luna Chapter 98 By Moonlight Muse
JAI.
I can feel someone running their fingers through my hair, and it feels pleasant and soothing. I know exactly who it is and I’m enjoying it.
She sighs softly, sounding troubled, but her hand doesn’t stop combing through my hair. Mmm, how did I get lucky to have such a treat from her?
“You’re awake,” she says quietly.
“Barely.” I croak out, and that’s when the pain in my body registers and I groan. “Damn, I prefer focusing on your touch,” I grunt.
My entire body feels like I was hit by a truck. Her hand stops moving, and to my disappointment, she removes it.
Way to go Jai.
I crack open my eyes and look over at her. She’s seated in an armchair beside my bed. The curtains are drawn, but I can tell it’s night.
Her eyes are red, and there are blood stains on her hair and clothes.
What the…
Everything rushes back and my heart thunders as I realise what happened. I look around the room once again, reassuring myself that I am indeed back home. I don’t remember what happened…
The poisonous gas… Zaia in wolf form… the fight…
“Are the others ok?” I ask. I have no recollection of how we got out of there. “Yes, they are. You all are.” She says softly. “You’re pretty beat up, yet you’re thinking of the others?”
Did I see a faint smile?
I’m not sure, as she masks it pretty fast.
“Well, I am the Beta, so I need to make sure my Alpha is safe before that Justin takes the damn job from me and wins damn brownie points.”
She cocks a brow. “Really? Is that all you can think of?” “Well, of course, I’ll be out of job soon, but then again, I guess I’ll just annoy you instead.”
“You can do that for the next few days since you are on bed rest.”
“Says who?” I say as I try to sit up.
Fuck, it hurts!
“Doctor’s orders.” She says firmly, giving me that no-nonsense brisk look. All she needs is her white coat and her hair pulled back, and she’ll be back to Doctor Scott mode. This woman sure can be scary.
I still smirk because what is life if I don’t have a little fun teasing the woman I love?
“Oh yeah? So… this doctor… does she come in a sexy little outfit and-” One scathing glare shuts me up and I chuckle.
“Ok ok, point taken… so…I’m presuming you fixed me up.”
I glance down. I’m in some clean pants and my torso is wrapped up. “Yes, it wasn’t safe to take you to a hospital, so I had no other choice.” She responds, fussing with the bandage.
“I see… Well thanks…”
Our eyes meet and we fall silent, the dim glow of the lamp illuminating her face.
She looks healthier since she first woke up. Her hair is glowing too, but she’s still thin and although she has gained a little weight, she still needs to build it up a little more.
Why does she look… Sad.
“Hey…” I say as I reach over, trying not to groan as pain spasms through me. I place my hand on hers, rubbing her knuckles gently with my thumb. ” What’s up?”
She looks up at me and smiles, but it does nothing to mask the sadness in her eyes. “I’m ok… I just want you to get better.”
“Worried about me?” I tease.
Why do I feel there’s more to it?
She looks down and nods. “Obviously.”
She says, but it’s lacking her usual spunk.
“Val, what are you not telling me? Something is wrong. I know you better than that.”
She’s good at hiding her emotions. I’ve always been able to read her. She always acted like a no-nonsense lass, but she is pretty sensitive.
She sighs and looks at me. “Gerard got away an hour or so ago. Zaia and Sebastian have gone to see if they can find any clues.”
“What?” I say sharply, sitting up, ” Fuck.” I hiss in pain. “How is that even fucking possible?”
She looks at me and shakes her head. ” Who knows…”
“I better go see if I can help-”
She stops me from trying to get up and gently pushes me back onto the bed. Firmly forcing me to lie down and I have no strength to fight her.
She’s way stronger than she looks.
“Look Jai, just rest. The best you can do is get better quickly. Zaia is going to need us both.”
“Yeah… I know that.” I sigh in defeat.
This is not good…
She stands up, avoiding my eyes, and brushes her hair back.
She’s acting weird…
“I’ll go get you something to eat and drink. And then give you some medication for the pain.”
She turns away, and I grab hold of her wrist.
“Val…”
She looks down at me, her eyes sparkling with emotions. “I forgive you, Jai… forgive you for what you did… even if I can’t completely forget it.” She whispers.
My heart skips a beat, and I really don’t care if I’m injured. I pull her towards me, and she stumbles back, ending up on the bed, bumping into my chest.
She gasps but I barely register the pain as I wrap my arms around her tightly, not allowing her to get up, my heart racing.
“I swear Val… I don’t remember it, I only remember thinking it’s you… I was drunk or high-fuck, I don’t know. All I know is I thought it was you until I woke up and realised it wasn’t… It doesn’t make it right, but I just want you to know there was no woman who enticed me or tempted me. I fucking thought it was us.”
I hug her from behind, burving my head in her shoulder.
I love her. I always have, and I have no idea why I fucked up or how. It’s all a fucking haze, and I truly didn’t realise it was her, but I had been unable to keep it from her. There’s no
relationship based on lies or secrets. I had to tell her, even though I knew it could destroy us… and it did.
But even then, she told no one. Not wanting it to affect our relationship with our friends who were in a relationship. This woman is goddamn selfless. Her body shakes slightly, and I tense.
She’s crying. Val doesn’t cry.
“Fuck, I’m sorry,” I whisper, kissing her gently.
“It hurt… do you know how it feels knowing I wasn’t enough?” She looks at me over her shoulder and I shake my head.
“You were more than enough. I saw you. I don’t know how, but I truly thought it was you that night, princess. I’ve always loved you, only you.”
She is the only one I desire, the only one I fucking want, and I still hurt her. Our eyes meet as she gently turns towards me.
“I believe you.” She whispers before she wraps her arms gently around my neck, burying her head in it. My heart thuds. Not expecting this… If this is a dream, I never want to wake up from it because this is my one true wish and I’m finally getting it.
I slowly wrap my arms around her tightly, pulling her flush against me. Her scent invades my senses, and I inhale her hair. I missed her, missed her embrace and, despite all she’s been through, she’s right here. In my arms.
“I love you, Jai,” she whispers so quietly I almost don’t hear it. A grin crosses my face, and I can’t help but chuckle, feeling elated. “I love you too baby girl, I fucking love you too.’
There is nothing that can destroy the happiness I feel right now. Life is just going to get better from here on out. I just know it. Thank you, Goddess, for another chance… This time, I won’t fuck it up.
SEBASTIAN.
And so, it has begun. The spinning of the arrow is now pointings towards the ultimate battle. I stand here, calm and collected, with a mask of indifference and concern upon my face. A fraud among those whom I love. I watch as my Alpha Queen tries to understand how it happened when she had done her utmost best to secure him?
How else but with my assistance…
In her eyes, she has failed once again, but she didn’t. She is smart, but she is too trusting. She would never accuse me, although I wish she would. I want her to realise I’m just a traitor amongst them.
The moment she knew I was part of the Sable she should have shut off my access from everything, but she put faith in our love.
I watch her as we stand with the security at the prison. Deep down I feel it’s breaking her, the pressure of everything is chipping away at her, a tiny piece at a time.
She looks at me several times as if for assistance, but I don’t help her. Not once do I give my input aside from asking a few mediocre questions?
You don’t need me.
I keep saying that, but who am I fooling? I saw her almost crumble earlier. She needs me but once again I can’t be here for her. Once again, I’m breaking the promise that I made to her.
Gerard… that bastard.
I will kill him, I plan to. Once the antidote has been administered to Sia, I will turn on them. They probably are expecting me to do so, but tonight I fucked up.
I was meant to leave… but I couldn’t.
I’m going to have to…
I knew of the rogues’ allegiance to the Sable. After all, Gerard was able to mind -link me in prison.
Although Gerard was awake, a traitor kept him in a state where his heartbeat was slow. It was all a well-thought-out plan, and they had succeeded.
(FLASHBACK)
‘Sebastian, can you hear me?’
I sit up in my cell, scanning the darkness. Why did it feel like that voice is in my head? And why the fuck did it sound like Gerard’s?
“Who’s there?” I ask coldly.
‘You might be better off keeping your voice down, Sebastian. I am talking to you through the connection of blood and our wolves…’
‘Gerard.’ I snarl, able to somehow reply, I know he heard as I can feel a connection between us.
He’s awake?
“Sebastian, although I was just a donor, you are still biologically my son, and you now know that you belong on my side. The Sable is your calling, and you must answer the decree of the wronged Goddess.’
‘Wronged fucking Goddess? I answer to no call, and regardless if that is what being the wildcard meant, I don’t answer to you or the Sable. I still have a fucking score to settle with those two fucking losers of yours.’ I snarl back through this telepathic connection.
Whatever this is, it’s a deadly ability to have…
Gerard could be talking to anyone from inside these prison walls.
‘I know you don’t and that is why you will lead those two said losers.’ His dry chuckle fills my mind. ‘However, what are you fighting for? Those who talked about you behind your back all your life. Who whispered behind your back just because you enjoyed a run? Something that any powerful Alpha should enjoy. For being who you were born to be? You will side with those hypocrites? Those elitists?”
“You speak just like them. You made a mistake to contact me because I will now make sure you’re fucking sedated.’ I reply venomously. “And I will kill you myself for touching Zaia.”
‘It looks like we are not going to see eye to eye… So, I’ll just cut to the chase. There is one important factor in this entire situation. Sia.’
My stomach twists and his chuckle fills my head once more, but this time there’s a victory within it. ‘I see that I now have your full attention.’
(END OF FLASHBACK)
“There are no tracks or anything. And Alpha Atticus and his men have found nothing. We’ve moved the pack members who live on the outskirts of town to the Pack Hall and to the King Hotels with security tightened.” Justin says.
Zaia nods as she runs her fingers through her silky hair as it falls in front of her face again. She still has remnants of blood on her, and I can see she is exhausted.
“Ok, is anyone unaccounted for?” She asks.
“There’s a handful, Alpha, mostly those in their late teens and early twenties, but we are tracking them and making sure they are safe. As well as those who are on holiday, although they have been notified of the situation, not all have answered.”
“And those not in the country?” Zaia asks.
“The same goes for those studying abroad.” He explains. “We’ve stressed that they do not return at this time.”
Zaia nods, but she’s still on edge. “I’m probably missing something…”
“That’s enough for today, Zaia. You’ve done what you needed to. Stay on alert. That is all that matters. Come Zaia, you need rest.
“Alpha Sebastian is right. You have taken care of everyone and everything. The stocking of hospital supplies that you also requested are already being prepared and will be brought to the pack hall tomorrow.” Justin tells her.
She really has thought of everything, but she is doubting herself.
“Come, Zaia.”
Our eyes meet and I stare into those amethyst ones, trying to burn the image of them into my mind. The flecks of darker purple… the glimmer…
I observe her face, the dusting of freckles… her slender nose… plump lips Will I get a chance to see them up close again?
“Bastien?”
“Come,” I say, turning my back on her.
Probably not.
