68. A Confrontation
ZAIA. The moment of truth is finally here. The time to confront Mom about this. Sebastian had it sent over faster than I was expecting and as Mom and I enter the kitchen, I feel my stomach flip nervously. My heart is pounding and the fear of what might actually turn out to be the truth is making my heart clamour with anxiousness.
What if it’s true? I was in denial. The fear inside of me is proof that I was not expecting this. I look around the large kitchen, where I have lived for the last few years. A home that we made together…
I still remember the moments Mom and I shared here over hot drinks. She has been there for me through all my worries and is always someone I could lean on. The one who has looked after my children when I have been busy.
“Zaia, why are you so pale?” Mom asks me, concerned, as she goes over to the sink and fills a glass of water from the tap. The sound of the water seems to echo loudly in the silence of the large kitchen. I look down at the paper. Sebastian had kept it to what I had asked him to include, but now that it’s in my hand…
“I’m going to ask you something, Mom and I want the truth. Take an oath upon me that you will tell the truth and only the truth.” My voice is shaky, and I observe her carefully as I await her answer. She looks concerned, worried, and even uneasy…
“I swear upon your life, Zaia. I will speak only the truth. Honey, what is it?” She asks, taking a gulp of the water as she approaches me. How do I ask her?
How do I accept the answer if it turns out to be true? This could change things between us forever if it is the truth.
“According to this… You were having an affair with someone by the name of Adam Toussaint, whilst you were with father. Is it true?” I ask. My heart is pounding incessantly as I stare at her.
Her face turns ashen, her hand flying to her chest as she steps back as if seeing a ghost. The moment she begins to tremble, her hands clamping over her mouth, I get my answer. It’s true.
How?
Why?
“You can’t show that to anyone!” Mom whispers as she rushes over and snatches it from my limp fingers.
My mind is spinning, and I feel sick, but I simply stare at her. Her face turns even more pale as she stares at the message, and I look down at the card as well.
SECRETS ARE NEVER A SECRET. SOMEONE ALWAYS KNOWS. YOUR MOTHER WHOM YOU ADMIRE IS NOT WHO YOU THINK SHE IS.
HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH HER
MATE’S BROTHER IS A SIN AFTER ALL. WE ALL KNOW HUGH TOUSSAINT IS NO SAINT, GET IT?
Sebastian’s humour.
PERHAPS MY NEXT MESSAGE SHOULD BE ADDRESSED TO HUGH TOUSSAINT HIMSELF, HE GOT A TASTE OF HIS BROTHER ADAM TOUSSAINT’S POSITION OF ALPHA AND ADAM GOT A TASTE OF HIS MATE.
IT’S FAIR, ISN’T IT?
HOW WILL HE FEEL WHEN HE REALISES THAT HIS MATE AND BROTHER BETRAYED HIM?
DO NOT RETURN TO THE DARK HOLLOW FALLS PACK OR I WILL MAKE THIS PUBLIC.
That last sentence was something I had added to see how terrified Mom would be if this came out. “Why can’t I show it to anyone? It’s not true, is it?” I ask quietly. Her heart hammers as she tries to rip it and I snatch it from her.
“Give it to me!” she screams, shocking me. “Mom!” I shout. My eyes flash as I step back, holding it away from her. Enough! What is wrong with you?”
Her eyes dart to the door, and she runs her hand through her hair frantically. I have never seen her so disturbed.
“Zaia… Zaia, listen to me. No one can know.” She warns me in a hushed whisper, grabbing my arm. “Your father also cheated on me! It’s no big deal, I was hurt-”
“Were you?! Two wrongs don’t make a right! Tell me, Mother, were you even hurt? Did you really cheat on Dad after you found out? Because that makes no sense! Dad left you when he told you about Annette, not before that! This message states you cheated on him when you were together!”
My own voice is shrill as Mom glances towards the windows, as if scared someone might hear. “You yourself told me how he told you his mistress is pregnant and he broke up with you right then!”
My entire world which seems to be ridden with cracks is crumbling a little more. Mom cheated on Dad. She has lied to me all my life.
“Z-Zaia, please calm down. Don’t open things of the past! Adam is dead! I don’t know how this person has found out, I need- I need- just don’t tell anyone!” Mom’s jumbled words are erratic as she holds onto me as if for dear life. Desperation clear in her eyes.
“How could you… The hatred you have for Annette… when you yourself are just the same as her?” I whisper, unable to hide my disappointment.
“No! I’m not!” “Then tell me how you are not! Why? Why did you do it? You said you Dad. Did you really fake that too?” loved.
“I loved your father, but Adam was… he had a way, and we were alone so often! Your father was so lost in his work that he didn’t give me the time and attention I needed! Of course, now I know why he was so busy because he had another woman!”
I want to scream and tell her that Dad had never cheated on her! Is this really my mom? “True love means you can be apart for weeks, months or years and you won’t cheat!”
“Stop it… just stop it!” I scream, cutting into her rambling of hatred. I know Dad is innocent, but I won’t tell her that. “You did the same to him as he did you! It doesn’t make it right! You lied to me, Mom! You always pretended to be a victim when you have done nothing but lie to me! How dare you?!” My own voice is trembling. It sounds pitchy to even me, but today I feel like I’ve just lost so much. How can I remain calm?!
“Zaia! It’s in the past. We are not together, stop it!” she hisses, glancing at the door worriedly, her tears streaming down her cheeks. I pull away, and she begins sobbing when I shake my head.
“No. You hated Sebastian and called him a cheat, and so much more, yet YOU are the cheater, not him! How could you even be so rude to him when you yourself have done worse?” I ask, my voice breaking. She stares at me, as if stricken, before she slowly steps back.
“I was young… and stupid-”
“And you should have owned up to it! You have done nothing but fill my ears against Dad when you did the very same!” I shout. “You instilled hatred for Dad into me!”
My heart is thundering far too loudly, and we stare at one another. Neither of us speaks for a moment, our emotions consuming us before she rushes to the kitchen counter and, to my surprise, she grabs a knife.
“If you tell anyone, I will kill myself!” She threatens, holding the knife to her neck. I stare at her, unable to believe this. “Put it down,” I say quietly. I’m so tired….
“No!” “Very well… I won’t tell anyone, but I will be leaving for Dark Hollow Falls pack, and that means it might come out “Then you can’t go!” She cuts me off, her eyes look wild. “I’ll kill myself, Zaia!”
I shake my head slowly, brushing my hair back. “I will, but I know you now and I know that you won’t hurt yourself. You’re too selfish for that.” I whisper, turning my back on her. I close my eyes as silent tears trickle down my cheeks. How could she?
I open the door, about to step out, when Mom calls out to me. “Zaia, please! Please listen to me!” she grabs the back of my top and I look at her. Her eyes are filled with guilt as I slowly remove her hands from me.
“Please, it’s not my fault.” “If you didn’t play the victim… If you admitted your wrongs, I would have forgiven you and accepted you as I did, Dad.” I whisper. “But all my life you made Dad the bad one and even now… you’re pretending to play the victim.”
“Zaia… Adam is dead. Don’t cause more problems.” She whispers. “I regret what happened!”
“No, you regret getting caught,” I say, pushing her hand off me. “Your secret will not leave my lips… but if someone else announces it’ that is not on me, nor will I allow your wrongs to hold me back. You are free to move to that pack or remain here. I honestly don’t care.”
“Zaia, please.” I brush my tears away as I walk away from her, refusing to answer her. She lied… she kept at it… as if wanting me to hate father… even as the years passed, she’d often bring it up…
Lies…
A little sob escapes me, and I halt, not wanting the others to see me like this. I rush to the stairs instead, ready to go to my room, but I’m only a few steps up when someone grabs my wrist. My heart thuds, recognising the touch and I look down at Sebastian.
His piercing eyes are filled with concern. I turn away as he reaches me and pulls me into his arms. I clutch his shirt, allowing myself to cry into his chest, feeling protected. It hurts so much…
He holds me, caressing my back, and I feel safe. I remain like that for a while, until all my tears have dried, and I have calmed down. And as much as I want to remain in his arms forever, we have things to do…
Taking a deep breath, I move back slightly and look up at him. He frowns as he brushes my tears away, searching my eyes for confirmation of whether it’s true or not…
I nod slowly, and he looks down for a second, heaving a heavy sigh, but says nothing on the matter. “It’s going to be ok,” he says quietly.
Will it be? Because the way I see it, nothing can fix the trust she destroyed between us… things will never be the same…
Ever. But… if the Colosseum of Rome can stand to this very day… Then, something like this cannot break me.
