#Chapter 485 – The Goddess’ Light Ella
The pool we approach is wide and expansive – more of a large pond, or even a lake, really, shining below the open sky. I tilt my head curiously at I look at it, remembering Cora describing the pool as small and well tucked away in the forest. This one…
Well. Maybe it’s different every time, for every child, every pair of godparents. I look up at the moon and smile, thinking fondly of my mother and all the blessings she’s given us. And also how she can sometimes be…a little bit tricky.
“Ready?” Sinclair murmurs.
“Almost,” I quip, stepping close to him and lifting myself up on my toes, tilting my chin up for a kiss. He smiles and bends his head, pressing his mouth briefly to mine.
“Ready now,” I say, grinning at him.
Sinclair takes a moment to look at me in the moonlight, running a hand over the length of my lose hair, and then we step forward to the edge of the pool.
“Goddess,” he murmurs, not bothering to raise his voice – he knows she can hear him. “We bring to you, tonight, this child our nephew Jesse. So that he may begin to know you.”
“We wish to show him your light,” I say, repeating the words that Henry taught me as part of the ritual, a little shiver running down my spine as I do. ” And in doing so, let you see him and bring him into the spirit of your grace.”
I smile as the light reflecting off the pool grows brighter, insubstantially at first but bolder as the moments pass. Mom – she’s here, and she’s ready to meet Jesse.
“Here you go, baby,” Sinclair murmurs, holding Jesse out so that I can reach over and quickly untuck his swaddling. Then, with the baby safe in my mate’s broad hands, Sinclair and I step forward to hold Jesse out over the pool, basking in the light of the moon.
I smile as I look down at Jesse, as the moonlight pools over him. He kicks his little feet and fusses for a moment, frowning a bit up at the sky before giving a little laugh. I can’t keep myself from laughing a little bit too, smiling down at my spunky little nephew, loving him so much already.
“He is called Jesse Sinclair,” my mate says, his voice a little choked. I glance up to see him gazing at the baby too, his first nephew, the child of his brother and best friend. “His parents, Cora and Roger, have asked us to bring him here to dedicate him to you. We do so in their name.”
I grin, tucking myself close to my mate’s side, a thrill running through me. How many babies have been dedicated to the Goddess with these words, been welcomed into wolf culture? How many more will we, my little family, get to bring into the fold?
But there’s no time to ponder these questions, because as I gaze at the baby something begins to stir in the air beyond him.
“Oh,” I breathe, my eyes going wide. And then I take a deep breath, and am swept away in the vision that my mother gives us, the hint of the fate that she’s built for him.
My heart seizes as the first images fly by – a happy childhood, a handsome little boy, full of laughter and pranks. And by his side at almost every moment is another little boy – dark haired, always a little taller, always laughing and shouting at his cousin’s side. Rafe – Rafe! Happy, and healthy, and Jesse’s best friend, as I always dreamed they’d be.
The urge grows in me to reach out and seize each of the moments as they fly past a camping trip, gathered around the fire with Roger and Sinclair, slightly older but so happy – a birthday party with Jesse’s face brightly lit by eight candles
I want to grab each moment of the vision, to study them each independently, to get the details in full
But tears slip down my cheeks as I give in to the experience, knowing that this – like life – will fly by, and if I spend my time trying to hold onto the pieces I’ll miss it completely.
And so I watch, and my joy deepens when I start to realize that next to Jesse and Rafe, in every vision as they grow older, there’s a little girl too.
A little girl with a heart-shaped face and rose gold hair – between her brother and her cousin at all times, laughing with them, fully engaged with their games and antics –
And then a vision comes of the three of them, draped over the pillows of a couch, fully exhausted with their arms and legs thrown over each other like exhausted puppies, sleeping wherever they landed
And though there’s no real proof of it, I know she’s mine – the little baby growing in my stomach right now. She’s there, and she’s every bit as much a part of their little group as I hoped she’d be –
Jesse – he has a rich friendship with his cousins, and the three of them… they’re a matched set.
I wipe at my face, hardly able to see through the blurr of my tears but eager to do so because there’s more
The three – they’re older now, much older, in their early twenties, all dressed in black and gathered around a fire somewhere, in a room with stone walls that looks out over a dark landscape. They’re chatting and laughing, their cheeks ruddy and healthy, tired but happy. Jesse – he’s so tall and he looks just like Roger, with Cora’s warm brown eyes. He laughs easily, tossing a cashew at Rafe who
God, I almost sob to see it – but who looks like Sinclair’s double
And our little girl! She’s there too! I shake my head at…at how much she looks like me
The three, they’re a team, and wherever they are, they’re there together. I shake my head, not understanding, because they certainly don’t look like they’re at college, not dressed like that. But wherever they are …well, they’re happy, and they’re together, and it’s more than I could ask for.
The vision fades, replaced by the next, and Jesse is alone. The laughter is gone from his face, replaced with determination. He moves through a darkness flecked with stars – a darkness which feels…palpable, and as I watch, I see him grab the darkness, shifting it, moving through it like…like he’s pushing silk in water…
And then, when he steps out?
I gasp, because…it’s…god, it looks for all things like a different world, a world wrapped in darkness. He looks up into the sky and I blink to see that there is no moon. Not merely a night without a moon but…an…an absence there that I can feel. He bares his teeth, and pulls a dagger from his hip, and storms forward
I blink then, because – because –
The vision fades. There’s nothing else.
“That can’t be it,” I breathe, my voice frantic. I whip my head up to my mate, whose face is likewise pale. “That can’t be it! He – we need to know! He has to come back!”
Sinclair looks at me and shakes his head – he just doesn’t know, it’s a mystery –
“That can’t be it!” I shout, suddenly livid, and I stumble forward, my feet sinking into the pool as I spin and glare up at the moon.
“Ella!” Sinclair shouts, reaching for me.
“You can’t leave it like that!” I shout up at the moon. “You can’t send me back to my sister with that as your final image! I won’t go!”
“Ella please,” Sinclair shouts, seeing me stumble and almost lose my balance as my shoes sink into the mud at the bottom of the silver pool.
“I’m not going!” I shout, waving a hand at Sinclair but not taking my eyes off the moon! “You owe us more than this!”
And as I glare up into the sky, soft words float to my ears – barely audible words, kissed by starlight.
